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Life as a mother can be very stressful. There’s always more to do no matter how late you were up the night before.
I thought I was busy when my kids were just small but, the older they get, the busier we seem to be.
Sometimes it seems like a daily battle to just get through the day and accomplish all (ok, at least half) of the things we were supposed to do. By the time bedtime comes up, I’m so ready for a relaxing break in front of the T.V.
Because we’re so busy, I’ve been guilty too many times of forgetting the blessings we have. Instead of enjoying my kids, I feel like I’m always at my breaking point.
The little miracles that happen every day go unnoticed.
A while back I realized how much I was missing when I was in this state.
It really bothered me and I started looking for ways to create a happy, stress-free environment in my home.
There are four things I started including that made the difference.
1) Stick to a Consistent Routine
When you have kids, a consistent routine is the magic key to a less stressful life! I can’t stress that enough! Get it 🙂
Kids need a routine, period. Without a routine, neither you nor your kids will be consistently happy.
Each day will be a constant, chaotic struggle to just make it to the end. To make it worse, things will never get easier.
I hate to break it to you, but, as your kids get older and continue living a life in this state with no daily routine, things will only get harder.
If you think it’s hard to get a two-year-old to do something they don’t want to do, try getting a fifteen year old to do something they don’t want to do!
You’ll probably find that you’re easily irritated and exasperated. Your kids will pick up on those feelings and they’ll begin to act the same.
Nights will be a constant power struggle of, “But I don’t want to go to bed mom!!!” Mornings will be filled with, “I’m tiiirrreeed! I don’t want to get up!”
Routine is Necessary for Mental Growth
For young kids who are rapidly growing physically, mentally, and emotionally, a consistent routine is crucial.
With a routine, when it’s time to wake up, eat, sleep, learn, or do anything else throughout the day, their brain and body are ready. They’ve developed a habit of doing just that.
We are all creatures of habit. We are constantly developing habits and once they’re formed, we stick to them! For better or worse.
A favorite saying of mine is, “Good habits are hard to develop but easy to live with, while bad habits are easy to develop but hard to live with.”
If you can develop the habit of having a consistent daily routine, your kids will start to get up and perform each part of the routine on their own without any pushing from you.
They’ll wake up when it’s time, get ready, make their bed, eat their food, and do everything else they need to do throughout their day. Most importantly, they’ll do it with a happy attitude!
Whether you recognize it or not you’re developing routines and habits. They can either help or hurt you.
When you have a good consistent routine that promotes good habits, your senses of confidence, productiveness, and happiness will all increase.
2) Love Actively
In today’s busy world it’s easy to forget to show our kids just how much they mean to us. You might remember to say it but forget to show it. This is often worse than not saying it at all.
As kids get older, they’re growing both physically, mentally, and emotionally. Your kids need to know they’re loved and that they’re important.
Every day, they’re learning how to treat others. They’re learning how to react to the things that happen in their lives.
They can either learn to react positively or negatively depending on how they’re treated at home.
Sometimes all it takes is a smile as you’re talking to them. If your son or daughter comes in to talk to you, really listen to what they’re saying and respond kindly with a smile.
When you say I love you, don’t say it in passing, look at your son or daughter, hug them if you can, and tell them you love them and how much they mean to you.
I’d highly recommend reading Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages of Children” and using the ideas in it to actively show your love for your kids.
I first read Gary’s book written for couples to help bring them closer together. The difference it made for my husband and I was phenomenal! I can honestly say it changed my life forever for the better.
The Five Love Languages for Children is a book based on the same ideas. It shows you how to apply the same principles and ideas of a happy marriage to loving your kids.
It helps you discover what makes your kids feel loved so that you can show your love in a manner they’ll respond positively to.
Growing up, I remember asking my own parents so many times why they didn’t love me. I truly felt they didn’t and my mother never understood it. How could I not know she loved me?
As I read this book, I saw for the first time all the ways my parents were showing their love for me. The problem was, none of them were in the category that I needed the most. Reading this book, I finally understood all the feelings I had while I was growing up.
Some kids just need lots of hugs, others need more one on one time, while others still need words of affirmation.
Whatever they need, if you can actively show your love for your kids, using the love language that is their own, you’re home will be a happier, stress-free home for you and each of your kids.
3) Wrap Up Your Day With a Loving Song
It’s been shown in multiple studies that singing together as one unites people and brings them closer together.
Singing has this ability because it has a direct impact on the neurochemicals of the brain that are tied to the feelings of closeness and love we have for the people around us.
When you sing, it releases dopamine in your brain and you can’t help but feel happy.
We started singing together as a family in my home earlier this year because I was looking for a way to reduce stress in my home.
I was also looking for a peaceful way to wrap up our days at the end of the night before bed.
At the time, I had no idea how much of a positive effect it’d have on our family!
We added singing to our nightly routine as the last thing we do before climbing into bed.
Each of the kids gets their pajamas on, brushes their teeth, and finishes their nighttime checklist. When everybody is done and ready to sleep, my boys take turns picking a song we can sing together as a family.
In the beginning, “singing together” meant I was singing to my boys. They either didn’t know the song or couldn’t read the lyrics.
However, it didn’t take long for them to pick up on the words and start singing with me.
Each time we sing, I can feel my spirits rising. I feel the stress of the day leaving my body and a calming feeling of love for each of my boys comes over me.
My boys smile and are happy as we sing. They absolutely love it! Even my two year old asks several times a night if we can sing now, or if it’s his turn to pick the song. The older ones often pick their song hours before it’s time for bed. It helps them feel loved, happy, calm, and ready for bed once the song is over.
It’s important to pick songs that project the message and feeling you’re hoping to bring into your home.
Since we sing right before bedtime, I pick calm, loving, spiritual songs that will bring an atmosphere of peace into my home.
4) Pray & Meditate Together
I hesitated at first to include this last one because I don’t want to push my beliefs onto anybody. Prayers and meditations have made a big enough difference in my home, that I just couldn’t leave it out.
Have you ever heard of the law of attraction?
To sum it up, the law of attraction says that you should focus on what you want and think about it daily. If you work towards it consistently, you’ll ultimately find yourself getting whatever it is that you’re focusing your energy on.
Different people have their own explanations of why this works, but it’s been proven time and time again that the law of attraction is real!
If you want something enough and focus on it daily, it’ll come to you.
This is what I feel our prayers and meditations do for us.
In my home, we use them as a time to focus on our goals and any area of our lives that we need extra help.
We also take this time to express our gratitude and appreciation for the many wonderful blessings we have. Our gratitude for each other, our beautiful, warm home, our van, our friends and family, and so much more.
It’s hard to be stressed out and unhappy when you’re expressing your gratitude for the wonderful things in your life!
This also teaches your kids to recognize what they have instead of taking it for granted.
Praying and meditating on common goals brings your family together as one. It keeps you focused on your next steps so that you can each achieve the goals you’re aiming for!
There’s so much more I could say about the power of prayer and meditation but I’ll leave that for another post 🙂
I wish you the very the best and if you have any questions or thoughts please let me know by leaving a comment below! I do answer all of them 🙂
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